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New Delhi, India, c. 2007 AD — You are in the midst of a boring meeting (er… am I being redundant?). Suddenly your phone starts buzzing. An unknown number flashes on the screen. You pick it up. And the very familiar-sounding voice tells you the same well-rehearsed line, “Good afternoon, Sir. I’m calling from the HSBC Bank. We are offering you a lifetime free card.” You are enraged. This is the third time today that you’ve been offered a card or a loan. You cut the person off mid-sentence, telling him / her that you are not in need of one.

If the person persists, you say some arbit thing, “I’m busy now. Can you call later?” And when they call back, you tell them the same thing, and keep repeating this till they eventually get so bored / angered themselves that they won’t call back (for a week, that is). Some people ridicule such callers by trying to sound funny, irate, broke, or even lewd.

Wake up to reality! Here comes the Revenge of the Caller!!

The Indian Sales Calls Union, a consortium of call-center unions and unions representing various DSAs, has drafted a plan in a high-level meeting yesterday to set up a Rapid Action Goonda Force to track and set right people who repeatedly annoy callers and avoid sales of loans or credit cards.

The Chairman of the Union, Mr. Gopikanth Mangeshlal, who spoke to this reporter under conditions of anonymity, revealed that the Goonda Force has already been given list of about 170 names who should be kept under constant surveillance for diversionary tactics. He also stated that call center employees have been urged to make note of and share mutually those who resist buying cards.

It is also reliably learnt that the Union is known to have the full backing of many leading banks and credit card companies, as these companies believe that this new initiative (codenamed, Project Nowhere to Hide) will vastly improve the sales of credit cards.

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