Oh God, at least in my next birth, let me be born to Sunilji and Nargisji so that I can procure rifles my height from India-loathing gangsters, be let off, and have every TV news channel anchor (and every man on the street) absolve me of my crimes actions!
This is outrageous… but outrageously funny. A kid tries to sing the national anthem, and makes a mess of it — forgets it, mixes words, tries some new words etc. Laughs guaranteed!
If you have trouble playing the audio from the Odeo plugin above, click here to get it.
Disclaimer: If you consider this to be an affront on our national symbols, please excuse.
The word pathetic is inadequate to describe how pathetic India’s pathetic batting display was in the game last night. It is time we welcome back our former captain and (former) batsman Sourav Ganguly to the team. Here’s why…
Going to Germany on business some time soon? There is a whole lot of things you might have to consider apart from the work. Writing in The Business Line, Mohan Murti has oodles of advice for you, most of which sound funny, yet grave!
The homeowner (or renter) is responsible for sweeping the sidewalk and street in front of the house. In winter, the snow has to be cleared. You must shovel and sand/salt your sidewalk between 7 a.m. and 8 p.m. If someone slips and breaks their leg in front of your house during this time, you will be liable. You also need to pull out the weeds off the sidewalk.
That’s ok; after all, the environment is everyone’s concern. But doesn’t this one sound rather overboard?
Silent time is from 8 p.m. until 7 a.m. and all Sundays and holidays. A little hushed snoring is allowed, but house and garden appliances and machinery are no-no. No midnight clothes washing or Sunday afternoon lawn mowing. In apartments, you may not use the shower or, flush your toilet after 11 p.m. and before 5 a.m. Some German States have a legally mandated quiet time from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.
Hillary Clinton, President of the USA. Segolene Royal, President of France. Belinda Stronach, Prime Minister of Canada. This could be a reality in a few years. And these women will join Angela Merkel (Germany), Tarja Halonen (Finland), Mary McAleese (Ireland), Gloria Arroyo (the Philippines) and others as women Heads of State.
Closer home, Sonia Gandhi is running the Government of India. Benazir Bhutto could usurp power in Pakistan. Begum Khaleda Zia or Sheikh Hasina could come back to power in Bangladesh; Aung San Suu Kyi in Myanmar; Chandrika Kumaratunga in Sri Lanka.
The next decade could well be dominated by women leaders. Interestingly (and not very surprisingly) most of these women represent parties which are ideologically left of center. Except maybe for Merkel, whose party is conservative.
Of the large and growing economies, only China doesn’t seem like accepting a woman in the top role — the last male bastion?
Wikipedia defines the Rabona thus: “In football, the Rabona is a move in which a shot, pass, or cross is performed by moving one leg behind, and around, the ‘standing leg’ (the leg meant to hold the player on the ground steadily with) and so kicking the ball with one’s legs crossed.”
We can equate it to the art of bowling a batsman around / through his legs, like Shane Warne’s “Ball of the Century“. However, the rabona isn’t as rare. Quite a few footballers try it, but no one generally does it during a game, for four reasons:
There are very few occasions when a player succeeds with a rabona, and when he does the result is a sight to behold. One such instance happened last weekend at the San Siro, when Alberto Aquilani, the AS Roma midfielder, set up Totti’s goal against AC Milan with a brilliant move from central midfield. His pass comfortably found Mancini, who was charging down from the left flank, and the latter played a simple pass to help his captain beat Dida with the final header.
Here’s the video. You can safely skip the first 30 seconds, but pay close attention to the remainder of the footage.
Aquilani was called-up to the Italian squad this week, and was handed his debut by Donadoni in the 1-1 draw against Turkey.
New Delhi, India, c. 2007 AD — You are in the midst of a boring meeting (er… am I being redundant?). Suddenly your phone starts buzzing. An unknown number flashes on the screen. You pick it up. And the very familiar-sounding voice tells you the same well-rehearsed line, “Good afternoon, Sir. I’m calling from the HSBC Bank. We are offering you a lifetime free card.” You are enraged. This is the third time today that you’ve been offered a card or a loan. You cut the person off mid-sentence, telling him / her that you are not in need of one.
If the person persists, you say some arbit thing, “I’m busy now. Can you call later?” And when they call back, you tell them the same thing, and keep repeating this till they eventually get so bored / angered themselves that they won’t call back (for a week, that is). Some people ridicule such callers by trying to sound funny, irate, broke, or even lewd.
Wake up to reality! Here comes the Revenge of the Caller!!
The Indian Sales Calls Union, a consortium of call-center unions and unions representing various DSAs, has drafted a plan in a high-level meeting yesterday to set up a Rapid Action Goonda Force to track and set right people who repeatedly annoy callers and avoid sales of loans or credit cards.
The Chairman of the Union, Mr. Gopikanth Mangeshlal, who spoke to this reporter under conditions of anonymity, revealed that the Goonda Force has already been given list of about 170 names who should be kept under constant surveillance for diversionary tactics. He also stated that call center employees have been urged to make note of and share mutually those who resist buying cards.
It is also reliably learnt that the Union is known to have the full backing of many leading banks and credit card companies, as these companies believe that this new initiative (codenamed, Project Nowhere to Hide) will vastly improve the sales of credit cards.
The Anandakrishnan Committee’s recommendation to scrap the TNPCEE, the common entrance test for admission into undergraduate engineering programmes across the State, is disappointing.
I’m not sure how sound the argument that abolishing entrance exams will create a level-playing field for students from rural areas and poor backgrounds. What the proponents of this theory have in mind is doubtful. Do they contend that students from urban areas have easy access to tuition classes that will ease their passage through the entrance tests? If that be the case, shouldn’t the argument extend to preparing for the board exams as well? Alternatively, if paying for the entrance exam is the problem, the Government can consider subsidising the exam fees for students from economically weaker sections.
Doing away with the entrance test will create more problems than they will solve. For one, entrance exams test the student’s grasp, acuity, speed and endurance. In contrast, board exams test the ability to recall and pour out from rote memory. This will have a bearing on the entering class.
Secondly, if the marks secured in the board exams is the criterion for admission, there is a greater probability that many students will end up with the same totals (much more than happens currently). Segregating students with the same totals and similar break-up would be a problem.
But that’s the logistics part. Just the thought of banishing entrance tests sounds stupid to me. Maybe I’m being elitist here; but I’ll live with that tag.
Try this. If you’re a football fan, you should be able to get it.
Suppose the back four in the English national football side reads: Gary Neville, John Terry, Ledley King and Ashley Cole (assuming Rio Ferdinand and Jamie Carragher are both injured.)
Gary Neville captains Manchester United. John Terry is the captain of Chelsea, and Ledley King leads Tottenham. But Ashley Cole isn’t the skipper of any side. Now, what do you infer from this?
In football, great players are abundant. I bet you can easily reel off two dozen names without even pausing to think. But managers? There aren’t enough of them who would be accepted by everyone without doubt or question.
Sir Alex Ferguson, now into his 21st year at the helm of Manchester United, belongs to that rare breed. In fact, he is the last of the old type of managers, which makes him the rarest of the rare. And it is only such a special person who can rule over Mancunia for so long.
Here’s a photo (courtesy: The Times) that shows the fiery Scot during his first match.
Man U lost to Oxford United 2-0. Today one has to search through the lower leagues in England to find where Oxford lies. (Incidentally, Man U have lost the first match of SAF’s 21st year – against Southend!) And the Red Devils are the richest club in England. No trophy had eluded them, and the best of them all — the Champions League — was won in the most amazing of circumstances.
Ferguson’s greatness lies not just in his ability to eke out great performances from players he’s paid a lot of money to bring in. It is from the confidence — even arrogance — that makes taking him on an intimidating experience. His triumph is the triumph of good football. Ferguson’s teams have always relied on attack and aggression. And that is something we cannot say about many other top managers.
Some of the best players have played for the club during his reign — Gary Pallister, Bryan Robson, Steve Bruce, Mark Hughes, Eric Cantona, Roy Keane, Peter Schmeichel, Jaap Stam, David Beckham, Ruud van Nistelrooy. Some of them still do — Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Gary Neville. And there’s a young crop of worldbeating talent (read: Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo) leading the ranks these days. And the amazing Scot goes on and on and on, motivating his players to glory, and weeding out erring talents! Incredible!
Salutations, Sir Alex!
வந்த ஜோலி என்னவோ, அதை பாரு பட்டனே
The exalted position of football as the most followed sport across the world is a result of its ability to consistently serve up contests that live up to the “hype” that surrounds them. The return leg (not really) of the titanic clashes between Barcelona and Chelsea, now into its third season is ample evidence to the passion the game arouses.
The success of such a game relies not just on the players on the field (who would, among them, be making more than 2 million pounds in weekly wages) or the managers, whose tactics and mind-games are mouth-watering contests themselves, or the almost 100000 fans who throng the Estadio Nou Camp, to the majority of whom, the performance of their team is a matter of Catalonian pride. A match of this nature needs good refereeing.
Given the history of the tie and the hostility between the teams, the man in charge of the field should really be in charge. One small moment of madness can flare into a controversy of untold proportions. Referees are a poor lot, literally. They run around the field, as much as any player would. But they are paid paltry sums. Players can get away with mistakes, but referees cannot. Referees do not get anything for having had a good game. But one poor decision, and they are villified, dissected, roasted.
Top on the menu this morning, not just here, but all across Europe is Mr. Farina, the referee who orchestrated the horror show last night. He dished out 10 yellow cards, two of which were thought to have gone to Ashley Cole, and generally failed to control a match, which would otherwise rate as one of the best this season. (Incidentally, Ashley Cole was given plenty of football lessons by the wily Lionel Messi, who tormented him down the right flank on innumerable occasions.)
The English press would love to have us believe that Mr. Farina was a victim of constant surrounding by Barca’s players, who forced him to dish out cards for the smallest of offenses by Chelsea players. That proves two things – I have lots of company when it comes to writers lacking imagination; and that Jose Mourinho isn’t short of company when it comes to whining.
One should hand it to Mr. Mourinho. He had already prepared the press and the public for this. He continued from last season’s rants labeling the reigning European champions as divers. He singled out Eidur Gudjohnsen, a Chelsea man till a few months ago, and wondered how the Icelander could have learnt to dive so fast. It is interesting to note that Eidur poured cold water on these suggestions by scoring a fantastic goal, and Didier Drogba reminded his own manager that he was still the master at the art of going down for nothing. The uninitiated would have commented that Drogba needed a pair of crutches (yeah, he looked right out of hospital, unable to stand). Others would have nominated him for a Razzie – even Jennifer Lopez will do better at acting.
El Mundo Deportivo, the Spanish sports paper, commented that Frank Rijkaard turned into Santino Corleone for a moment when marched right on to the pitch at the final whistle to confront the referee.That was an aberration, because, unlike his West London counterpart, the Dutchman is generally a study in stoicism. Evident from the fact he was the least agitated person in the Nou Camp during the best moment of the match.
It came when Deco capitalized on the first mistake of a woeful night for Bouhlarouz and unleashed a powerful drive past fellow countryman Hilario. It is sad that that amazing goal features so low on the writing list. And that is because the referee would stop the game for the simplest of tackles and challenges. (So bad that I didn’t lower or raise the TV volume for fear of attracting a yellow card!)
The better referees, the Italian Pierluigi Collina, for example, would factor in the nature of the game into their decisions. Frequent stoppages do not allow a high-tempo match to really take off. That is not to say that referees should turn a blind eye to poor tackles and challenges — how they rein in players while allowing the game to progress unhindered is the mark of good refereeing.
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