Headlines Today should immediately be conferred with India’s silliest news channel award. While every other news channel is analysing Argentina’s rout of Serbia & Montenegro, and van Persie’s wonderstrike against Ivory Coast, HT sent one of its reporters to spend time with a tarot expert.The tarot woman was so much fun.
Reporter: “What does the World Cup hold for Thierry Henry?”
Tarot Reader: “Please pick a card… As we can see from the card, Henry is very talented. France is a good team. Both of them should be doing well, much better than their current showing. The tarot points to the fact that they will go a long way.”
(I wonder how people manage to joke without actually laughing.)
Reporter: “What about Ronaldo? Everyone’s been saying he is uninterested, clumsy and fat” (unmindful of the size of the tarot reader!)
Tarot Reader: “Please pick a card… Ronaldo is blessed with a lot of intelligence. He should be doing better. The card shows it. It says ‘beyond greed’, so he can shatter every record.”
Reporter: “What about Tomas Rosicky?”
Tarot Reader: “The card says he seems bogged down, tired. He should go back to nature. Try yoga, meditation. Maybe he will shine in another World Cup. Not this one.”
Reporter: “Will Wayne Rooney save England?”
Tarot Reader: “The card says, in 9-10 days, Rooney will be able to take England to greater heights. Not immediately, but in a few days’ time.”
Reporter: “Lionel Messi, the young Maradona, is touted as the next best thing…”
Tarot Reader: “The card says it can only get better for Messi.”
Fifteen solid minutes of fun came to an end thus. I don’t understand how tarot cards work. At least, those who read horoscopes have something to base their predictions upon. But tarot cards? Suppose I asked this lady, “How will I fare in the World Cup?”, and I picked the same card which was picked up for Messi? Does that mean I, Vijay, am going to score in the next game against Netherlands?
With regard to sporting competitions, always take such predictions with a jar of salt. Didn’t some popular astrologers predict that New Zealand will face the West Indies in the 2003 Cricket World Cup Final?
And in any case, Ronaldinho won’t pull off a magic strike just because I picked a card. It simply doesn’t happen that way.
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