(a fictitious glance at burning election issues in future elections)
Chennai, c. 2011 AD – In a bid to garner the attention of the youth of the State, the main opposition party has announced, as part of its election manifesto, a new allowance called GilMA – Girlfriend Maintenance Allowance. When asked, party sources informed this reporter that the people of this state who were given land, food, clothing and entertainment for free, are now clamouring for new and improved freebies.
It has come to light that whenever a boy and a girl go out on a date, it is the poor guy who has to spend a fortune on his lass. This imbalance has resulted in a statewide protest by the youth to bring down prices of cinema tickets, gift articles and designer apparel. An appalled government has been at pains to set right the situation in the state.
In an exclusive interview the leader of Opposition in the Assembly argues that if the Opposition is voted to power, they will dole out Rs. 2000 every month as an allowance to every committed male in the State. This money is exempt from taxes. The leader of the Opposition also enlightens us by putting forth the theory that such an allowance would add to the spending power of the youth of State, thus spurring economic growth in the State.
This new TV ad is the craze of the state.
Cut – three or four guys in some college campus. One person ventures “Dey, namma mattum thaan kaasu selavu pannanuma? Indha ponnunga purse-i veliya edukka maattaangala? Namakku eppoda vidivu kaalam varum?” (“Why should only boys spend on girls? Will they never take out their purses? When will this situation change?”) – cut – “Enga katchikku vote podunga. Maasam 2000 rupaai vaangikkunga. Jolly-a enjoy pannunga!” (“Vote for our party. Get 2000 rupees per month. Enjoy!”)
Arguably, the ruling party is baffled by this new election assurance by the Opposition. Not wanting to be left behind, it has just now come up with a better scheme. It has announced an allowance Rs 25,000 per year for all males between the ages of 18 and 30 in the state, irrespective of whether they have girlfriends or not. Also, there is a rumour that the Government is considering an additional allowance of Rs 25,000 per extra girlfriend, upto a maximum of 3! Sources close to the ruling party reveal that a special scheme, targeting single-and-looking males called GaG – Get A Girlfriend – is also on the cards.
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